Saturday, December 24, 2011

Budgie

Today

Christmas is nearly on us and people are talking about their lunch plans and whether it includes turkey. Not in this house, of course.

In My Day

Paul always gamely eats whatever I cook him and turkey hasn't graced out Christmas table since 1987. One year, I think it might have been about 1995, he said wistfully, "Couldn't I just have a turkey breast or something?"

Well, I didn't think that that sounded very festive, so I went to the supermarket and bought a little "poussin" - a complete baby fowl. To my eyes it looked like a miniature turkey.

Fired with wifely love and devotion, I gathered my courage and prepared this diminutive creature. I put stuffing in its insides, tiny strips of bacon over its breast and surrounded it with tiny potatoes. Perfect! I popped it in the oven, sure that Paul would be delighted.

I triumphantly brought out this culinary delicacy and put it before Paul. Maybe it shouldn't have been a surprise. He stared at his plate. "I can't eat that!" he exclaimed "It looks like somebody's budgie!" "But it looks just the same as a turkey" I protested "only smaller. How can that make a difference?"

But it did and Paul refused to eat it. Which made that last time I tried such an experiment. Nut loaf from now on!

When you look at this handsome beast that struts around the local smallholding, you do wonder how anyone could end its life.

Merry Christmas all!

Friday, December 23, 2011

One in the Eye

Today

A rather horrible story this week about a three-year old who was badly beaten up by a two-year old at her nursery. The extent of her injuries makes one wonder what on earth the nursery assistants were doing.

In My Day

Lizzie used to go to a little nursery school in Eastbourne, named "Fledglings". It was a family-run affair where the children had lots of scope to play in the large garden and cook jam tarts in the kitchen.

One day we went to collect Lizzie and the owner told us that another child had attacked her, inflicting some scratches on her face.

This other child, a boy, was known to have some social problems, including an aversion to being hugged or touched. He was also a very beautiful child with big brown eyes, glossy dark hair and a beautiful sun-kissed skin. Liz found him irresistible and decided that she wanted to kiss him. Before anyone could stop her, she'd flung her arms around him. The inevitable panic-driven response occurred and his nails were out.

The difference between this story and that of Katie-Anne, above, is that the teachers were right there, pulling the children apart before real damage could be done.

Although it may have something to do with Lizzie's extreme caution these days about giving kisses to anyone but family.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Bleak Midwinter

Today

As usual, the cold has affected Stoke St Michael more than the surrounding towns and villages. I walked up to the shop yesterday and managed to avoid the slidey bits. There was ice in the puddles, though, and this morning is dry and frosty.

In My Day

Our personal name for the event I'm about to describe is "The Great Ice". The year was 1995. Mum was spending Christmas with us and the weather was dry and very cold. The effect of this was to chill the ground deeply.

On 30th December we awoke to a gentle rain. "Oh good!" I thought "That means it'll be warmer." What it actually meant was that the gentle drizzle froze on contact with the cold ground and a layer of clear ice formed over everything. Liz and I tried to break up the ice on the front step, first with salt and then with shovels. but we couldn't shift it.

Now, we had a much looked-forward to invitation to spend the afternoon with our friends in Shepton Mallet. Liz shrieked at me "We can't go out! everyone in Shepton has already got broken legs from the ice!" Hmmm. I weighed everything up. Paul was game, we wanted to see our friends and Mum was all dressed up and ready to go. We slithered out to the car which was coated in the same sheet ice as everything else. Quite pretty, really.

Somehow he got up the close and we drove carefully to Shepton. We stumbled up our friends' steep drive, half carrying Tricia, and had a jolly good afternoon. I went out several time to see how the weather was doing. It didn't improve and, when I saw that a light fog was descending I decided it was time to go.

We arrived back at the Close which is quite a steep little road, facing North. As we started down it, I spoke, sotto voce to Paul. "will you be able to stop?" "I don't know; I tried the brakes and nothing happened." "How about using reverse gear?" I muttered. "It may come to that!"

It is a massive tribute to Paul's driving skills that he succeeded in steering the car into the turning bay and reversing successfully up our iced-over narrow driveway. And we all got indoors without broken legs.

We later heard that this weather event had affected most of Southern Britain and that many people did, indeed, suffer broken limbs.

The Met Office warns people not make unnecessary journeys, but of course we all have our own ideas about "unnecessary".

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Following the Rules

Today

This morning Paul & I were talking about grandchildren and the question of discipline. Do you follow your own heart or the rules laid down by their own parents?

A bit of both, I guess, is the answer.

In My Day

Our children started out with two full sets and a great-grandparent (altho' Nan was pretty far gone by the time Becky was born). Their grandmothers couldn't have been more temperamentally different and I think this was reflected in how they treated their grandchildren. Tricia was the Gran who told silly jokes, cuddled them and surprised them with her emotional variability. Mamma was altogether a more didactic and measured influence; her enjoyment in their company was obvious.

Their attitude to my mothering also differed. While Tricia criticised me for my relaxed attitude to bedtimes ("My niece's daughter is in bed by 6.00pm - beautifully brought up, beautifully brought up!"). In vain for me to protest that I was barely home from work until 6 and wanted to spend time with my girls; her beliefs were rooted in an age of nannies and children being seen and not heard. On the other hand she respected our rules concerning diet and health concerns.

Mamma, being largely my role model for mothering, had fewer issues with this. But I do think she had a rather "stuff and nonsense" attitude to modern health and diet concerns.

Nowhere was this more obvious than on the subject of chocolate. Early on, we'd noticed a connection between the consumption of even small amounts of chocolate and Lizzie's complexion and behaviour, both becoming heated and patchy at the same time. So we banned the consumption of chocolate. Not so hard, surely? Tricia would scour shops at Easter time to find chocolate-free eggs for Lizzie.

I remember one occasion; I guess it must have been in about 1979. Mamma was staying with us at Rowan Avenue, Becky was two, Liz seven. Paul and I took advantage of her presence to take a day Christmas shopping in London. We had a splendid day and arrived home late in the evening, laden with goodies

Liz was a little fractious and her colour was high, to be sure, but the hour was late and we greeted Mamma and the girls as usual. Mamma and Lizzie proudly said that they'd been cooking together and showed us their efforts, a little plate of pretty pinwheel biscuits. "Do they have chocolate in them, Mamma?" I demanded. "Well, only about three ounces..." said Mamma defensively. "Mamma, just look at her!" I responded. Lizzie's bright red, blotched cheeks and hyperactive behaviour were plain to see. "Well!" Mamma climbed down fairly graciously "I see now, but I wouldn't have believed it."

I think, that, just because we are older and have had children ourselves, we don't have a monopoly in the understanding of childcare. And our children do eventually grow up and there's a chance they might in some areas be wiser than we are.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Cuppa

Today

I suppose you could describe Paul and me as "tea bores". We like to use china pots and proper tea leaves. The pot should be warmed and the freshly drawn water properly boiling. And so on and so forth.

In England tea is offered as a restorative, stimulant, relaxant, social lubricant, accompaniment to disasters, both emotional and physical. What was the first thing you had if your house was bombed in the War? A nice cup of tea. Policemen bearing bad news put the kettle on. It wakes you up in the morning and settles you down at night.

So it's quite clearly more than just a mildly stimulating herbal drink and. quite frankly, Red Bush, chamomile and herbal teas just don't cut the mustard. And offering tea is innocent; it doesn't have the double-entendre of "would you like to come in for a coffee?".

Even so, it also seems that tea's ability to hit the spot is also affected by time of day, mood etc. Today, my lunchtime tea tasted so good that I had another one, which is unusual. And it even tasted nearly as good as the first

In My Day

This is never so true as with the tea you're offered after childbirth. Hospital tea follows none of the rules I laid out above and has probably been made with water boiled for hours in an urn, uses industrial sized teabags, is stewed in a giant metal teapot and poured into a hospital cup (with a totally redundant saucer).

After struggling to produce Lizzie for hours and hours, after they wheeled her off for a well-earned rest and after they'd patched me up, they brought me a cup of tea. It was proper NHS tea in all its glory and didn't it taste like nectar!

Suddenly all the pain and anxiety receded for a few minutes and Paul and I smiled at each other over the rims of our chunky china cups.

When I had Becky, the whole job took less time and was altogether less of a struggle. But the worst part was that, after they'd brought me my tea, I felt so sleepy that I dozed off and didn't awake until it was stone cold. And ever since I've felt a bit deprived as though I was cheated out of a basic human right.

How people cope who don't drink tea is beyond me, since, quite clearly, it's the backbone of Britain and an essential part of ones moral fibre.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Bear-Bear's Party

Today


We had our annual drinks party at the flat yesterday. This is probably the last time we'll do this so there was a bit of nostalgia hanging around. My gorgeous, very tall nephew Jacob was there with his two little ones. Max slept right through, but four-year old Evie (together with her constant companion, Bear-Bear, was the life and soul to the bitter end. Although there were no other children at the party, there were enough familiar faces to keep her comfortable and I believe she had a really good time. We sent her home with a box of crackers (with strict instructions to save them until Xmas day) and a paper-chain making kit.


In My Day


When we were first married we could never see why the fact that we had children should conflict with our desire to go to parties. In the early days it was simply a question of popping the babies into a bed where, like Max, they slept the occasion away. Very soon, we developed a sort of compromise. The girls would be allowed up for a while and indulged with crisps and lemonade. At a given signal, they would then go to bed, usually in our host's spare room. The girls understood very soon that the first indulgence would be taken away if they didn't comply with the second part.


And I think they really rather enjoyed is. While they were still awake enough to make the most of it, they were feted and fussed over by any number of grown ups. Then when bedtime came and they were really anyway getting too tired to have fun, they could snuggle up together and giggle till they fell asleep. Only the being woken at two am on what were sometimes cold nights was less appealing.


And there were unexpected bonuses. On one occasion, it was the day before Lizzie's ninth birthday. As midnight approached and we were sitting beside our host's inglenook fireplace, Lizzie was woken, as she thought, as usual. But this time she was ushered into the living room and saw her birthday in by toasting marsmallows over the fire and being given a gift of a very nice purple and grey striped dress which I believe she wore until it dropped to pieces.

I have never been much of a believer in maintaining a strict division between children's and adult's social occasions and last night Evie conducted herself with charm and decorum. Merry Christmas, Evie!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Breaking the Mould

Today

A mobile bodyshop  business was set up under a little pointy-roofed pavilion in the Close today. As I walked past I breathed in deeply. "Ah! the smell of fibreglass resin!" I cried "That takes me back!"

In My Day

When I applied to do theatre design at the West Sussex College of Design in Worthing I had many romantic notions. However the course offered was far from romantic; training was strictly practical.

We were early on initiated into the secrets of scenery and prop manufacture. This often involved the use of fibreglass resin. There were several stages to the process. First you had to model what you wanted in a temporary material, such as papier mache. This was a challenging and messy job and you found yourself peeling bits of hardened paper off your clothing for weeks afterwards.

Next you made a plaster cast of the object. This gave you the item in inverse, so to speak and could take quite a while to harden.

Finally, when it was quite hard, you opened large packs of glass fibre and pushed it into the mould, following this with liquid resin. This resin had a strong and, well, resinous smell and had the effect of softening the glass fibres which could then be pushed into all the crevices in the mould. Without the glass fibre, the resin would be too brittle. This set reasonably quickly, when it could be removed and the mould used again as often as you liked. This job left myriad tiny cuts all over your hands and completely ruined them. 

Using this technique, the Connaught Theatre in Worthing produced a whole forest of trees for "A Midsummer Night's Dream". I spent hours helping with this; including applying lots of thick greeny-grey paint afterwards. I can't remember whether the result looked any good.

I wonder if they still use these techniques in modern theatres. Actually, I just found this site:
http://www.ehow.com/about_4672663_fiberglass-moldmaking.html .......

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Peace

Today

This has been a week of family remembrance. My cousin Miriam posted a picture of her father, my Uncle Ernst, who would have been one hundred years' old yesterday. What a handsome man he was!

And this week also sees the seventh anniversary of Tricia's death and the thirtieth anniversary of Mamma's death. I was thinking that Tricia had a whole twenty-four years more of life than my mother. That's time to see grandchildren grow up, time to have great-grandchildren and be ready to say "goodbye".

In My Day

Mamma first showed signs of the lung cancer that was to carry her away while Daddy was in hospital. She found that the short walk to the hospital made her very breathless. After Daddy's death in 1979, we nagged her to go and get herself checked out.

I remember Beatrice reporting faithfully Mamma's phone call. "She's just has some fluid on the lung; they've drained about three litres, but she's fine." "Three litres!" I shrieked. "no wonder she couldn't breathe! What do, you mean "fine"? And how did the fluid get there?" I researched and the conclusion seemed inescapable; apart from pleurisy, which she clearly didn't have, the most common cause was lung cancer.

It seemed that her forty Craven A per day habit was catching up with her. There was a period of fierce denial, when she swore that the fluid (which came from a tear in the pleural membrane) had absolutely nothing to do with her smoking.

Eventually, the diagnosis had to be faced up to. We were invited to see the oncologist at Guildford hospital. I don't think that Mamma knew we were going so it was somewhat awkward when we bumped into her being wheeled into a lift. She was just delighted to see us and we all invaded the ward later. The consultant told us the worst - he could keep her health steady for a while with chemotherapy, but he couldn't save her and her descent would be rapid. Chris spoke for us all when he asked the consultant to be gentle about giving her the news and not to take away all hope.

After a few months' respite, Mamma was taken in to hospital for the last time in November 1981. Chris's wife phoned to say that they'd been with her for a couple of days, but now had to return to London.

Beatrice and I took some time off work and went to see Mamma and stay with her. Knowing that she would soon die, the hospital had tactfully placed her in a side ward and Beatrice and I greeted her and sat beside her. Beatrice tried (and failed) to do Mamma's crosswords and I had some stitching to do. We persuaded Mamma that we were not there for social chit-chat and that we were there because we loved her and wanted to be by her side.

Her breathing became more and more laboured. The social worker came into see her and asked her if there was anything Mamma wanted. "Nothing, so long as I will soon be in Heaven with my husband", replied Mamma.

Very soon after that Mamma had her wish. In the sudden silence, Beatrice & I said Goodbye to our Mother.

Mamma; I think of you every day and feel very sad that you were taken away from us when there was so much more you would have enjoyed. But I hope also that your wish was granted and that you are now truly at peace.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

British to the Core

Today

A friend's Facebook status today said that, as it was tipping down with rain, they were off to the zoo. "After all", she explained "We're British!"

In My Day

Somewhere in the British psyche is the assumption that events go ahead whatever the weather. In the arena in Verona the music stops with one drop of rain.

We were living in Southampton at the time, which makes it 1986, and our friends the Levetts came to visit. One of the local attractions was the Beaulieu Motor Museum. So off we set, complete with picnic. I'm sure we had a lovely time; the men enjoyed the classic car show and talked cars, carburettors and the old days. We girls didn't really object to the display of fine old cars and chatted as old friends do.

Eventually we all felt hungry and went to collect the picnic, groundsheet etc. Beaulieu has some beautiful woods and we found a clearing and spread out the food. This wasn't just an affair of a few sandwiches; I'd undoubtedly made salad, little rice burgers, hard-boiled eggs and provided cheese, bread and so on. So it took a while to lay it all out, complete with serviettes and plates. We ignored the darkening skies.

As the first drops of rain pattered gently on the leaves above we resolutely munched on. It became chilly. The rain began to penetrate the leaves and land on ourselves and the food. What of it? We're British! A little rain doesn't upset us! We cut into the cheese and filled our mugs with wine, pretending this was all just as it should be.

Suddenly Beverley started guffawing with laughter. "What's up?" we asked. "This is crazy, we're nuts!" she laughed. "Anywhere else in world people would have packed up by now. Anyway, I'm soaked!" We saw the funny side, packed up our sodden picnic and went home.

Now, as then, Beverley had shed the crystal light of common sense. "Bonkers Mad!" was her verdict on her daughter's plans for a day out. Quite.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Live Music

Today

In her latest letter Beatrice described a very jolly Friday night at a local wine bar that culminated in live music. "I really like it when that happens", I enthused.

In My Day

I recall one event, back in 1998. We decided that the way to celebrate Mother's Day would be to book a Landmark Trust property in Suffolk. We chose this location because it also meant that Becky, at that time in university in Norwich, could meet us there.

We took the dog who greatly enjoyed his time at this property, which is a mediaeval manor house with no chimney, only louvres to release the smoke (not that we were in this part; we stayed in the new, Elizabethan wing). The only way to get to the house was on foot. We parked the car at the field gate, donned wellies, put our bags into the thoughtfully provided wheelbarrows, and were all set.

On the way we had passed through a pretty little village called Hawkedon. We pulled up outside The Queen's Head, which was advertising Mother's Day lunches, and Paul went in and booked a table. Perfect.

Sunday dawned fair and chilly and, leaving Cas happily playing with some little piles of stones, we walked across the fields to the pub. We were greeted by the Australian landlady, who looked like a contender for England's roughest landlady. We had a fair-to-middling lunch. The landlady was very chatty, and when Paul had got over being told that she'd thought him to be a "right w****r" when she first saw him, we were chatty too. She told us that there was going to be some live music that afternoon and why didn't we stay on?

"Well, we would," we said "But we've left the dog at the cottage." "Oh, that's alright, my barman will drive you over to get him!" Which he did; Cas arrived and was very happy with a bowl of water and some packets of  crisps of his very own.

Mum decided that a few more Harvey's Bristol Creams couldn't do her any harm and talked long and volubly to anyone who'd listen about her lovely granddaughter. Her lovely granddaughter proved her student credentials by putting away several pints of the local ale, "Old Ken" by name and playing snooker with the locals. Paul also put away much Old Ken and became very jocose. I concentrated on red wine and listened to many anecdotes delivered by the landlord. Did we dance a bit? Maybe.

As it began to get dusk, mindful of the walk across the  fields, we said we'd have to go. The landlady again proffered the help of her barman. He was the only one who hadn't been drinking and, forgiving Paul for an earlier remark when he'd complained about his elbow being stiff from pulling pints, to the effect that it was the only thing that was (let's blame Old Ken), popped us all, including Cas, into his car when the music had finished. We only had the walk across the field from the gate to accomplish which we did. Paul & Becky instantly went to bed to work through the Old Ken while Mum and I stayed by the fire, talking and updating the log book.

I remember all of this. What I can't remember anything about was the music except that it was very loud.

Friday, October 21, 2011

L'enfant et les Sortileges

Today

Last night I spent a most enjoyable evening in the company of The Rambert Dance Company. One of their pieces was a delightful interpretation of Ravel's "L'Enfant et les Sortileges" in which the dancers portrayed children at play. Sometimes it was light-hearted, sometime sinister; children were fighting one minute, best friends the next. They joined in a range of apparently spontaneous dancing against an enchanted forest backdrop that, too, changed from beautiful to terrifying.

On the way home I talked to Paul about the games we played as children. "Are they quite lost now?" I asked.

In My Day

I don't go to many small children's parties these days but when I do, it seems that the adults have provided a bouncy castle, a MacDonald's tea or children's entertainer to take charge while they sit around, drinking wine and chatting. The kinds of games we used to play seem little in evidence.

I went to a fair number of children's parties when I was small and certainly Beatrice and I gave parties on our birthdays. (I don't remember any given by the boys - I wonder if that's accurate?) There was a standard set of games to be played. You didn't need to have the rules explained; they got into your brain sort of osmotically.

Nearly all of them involved some sort of skill and prizes and forfeits were the order of the day. We played blind man's buff, pinning the tail on the donkey, held races and skipping contests. "Simon Says" was guaranteed to produce much laughter as Simon thought of more and more absurd things for you to do. I suppose that game could be seen as the start of the ten steps to tyranny, but we enjoyed it; all the more when it was your turn to be Simon.

Some games were quite scary "What's the Time, Mr Wolf?" could produce a real thrill of fear as you waited for the moment when he shouted "Dinner Time!" and rushed at you.

One game I dredged up from my memory was "Oranges & Lemons". This was a dance in which two children (usually the tallest) stood facing each other with their hands forming an arch. The rest of the children would form a sort of a crocodile and weave under the arch as we all sang the song. As we came to the bit "Here comes the candle to light you to bed" the singing became a chant and went faster and faster and the arch would move up and down in a sawing motion. The trick was to dodge through when the arch was at its highest so that you weren't caught. Some luckless child would eventually become pinioned as the chopper came down faster and faster and you were "dead". This child probably had to pay a forfeit, too.

All in all, parties could be competitive affairs and it's no wonder that the occasional child would hide under the table and refuse to come out! But maybe they are just another preparation for the unpredictability of life itself and I'm not at all convinced that a tiny bit of fear, especially in a safe context, isn't healthy for the development of children.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Packing it in

Today

As is usual for this time of year, at least in David's world, there is a glut of courgettes/marrows. Having mentioned something about this on Facebook, it now appears that he is committed to sending a courgette (just one?) to our niece Andie up in the Midlands.

I don't know the best way of packing up a courgette so that it won't get bruised or crushed (will bubblewrap do the business?) and it'll have to be sent first class to ensure that "straight from the garden" freshness.

In My Day

Mamma was never one for forgetting birthdays and anniversaries and we could guarantee that each wedding anniversary would produce a highly appropriate gift.

In 1975 we had just moved to Rowan Avenue when our fourth anniversary came round. I'm not very good at the detail of anniversary meanings, only knowing silver, pearl, gold etc with any certainty, so when a somewhat squashed cardboard box arrived from Mamma for our anniversary, I was very excited and very curious.

We opened up the box together. Inside, residing lopsidedly on some kitchen paper, was a pineapple. It seems that the fourth anniversary is "fruit and flowers" and Mamma thought that a pineapple would be just the thing.

Two problems, tho'. Firstly, it was clear that she hadn't quite mastered the art of packing it, because half of it was quite crushed. Secondly, I suspect that she'd sent it parcel post, pineapples being rather heavy, and this one was now well beyond its "use by" date and the half that wasn't crushed was mildewed.

We thanked Mamma as enthusiastically as we could, rather regretting our lost pineapple, and never had the temerity to ask her why she hadn't just taken the easy option and send flowers via Interflora!

Brainiac

Today

Writing to my sister today, I was reflecting on the varying qualities of us four siblings. "There's no doubt about it", I wrote "Chris is just cleverer than I am."

In My Day

It's difficult enough having older siblings always there to point out the inadequacies inevitable to your junior status, without it being obvious that they are cleverer than you anyway. This was nowhere more obvious than in my relationship with Chris. David was away at boarding school for so much of the time that his undoubted braininess was less in daily evidence, so to speak.

Chris was often left in charge of Beatrice and me and, if Mamma's diaries are to be believed, was very good at it. It seemed that whatever he turned his hand to he could do well. He was good at maths and English and music and sport and so on. He was also clearly quite good-looking. I clung tenaciously to my superiority in the arts world but I remember one year we made our own Christmas cards and I thought that Chris's were superior to mine both in point of design and use of colour. And he once did a design for the family Christmas cake that made it the cake to end all cakes.

I think I probably believed just about everything he told me into the bargain and it's only in adulthood that I've separated out the true from the rubbish from the teasing.

One Christmas I was given a puppet as a gift. It was a string puppet and I loved it. I called it Poko which was about all the ownership I could claim. I was only nine and, maybe, if I could have taken Poko away in secret to practise, I might have mastered the necessary skills. Chris took up this puppet and immediately was master of the art. There's a picture in the family album that says it all.

I am ever grateful to Chris for being my champion, friend and mentor, but I have to remind myself that I've made a pretty good hand out of adulthood and that there is more to life than braininess.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Perambulations

Today

Such a funny picture on Facebook today of my little great-niece Evie with her brother in the doll's pram. He looked very happy to be there!

In My Day

How Becky loved her doll's pram. It was a very neat little affair with hood and collapsible wheeled base. I think it may have been handed down from Lizzie who was given it for her fifth birthday. I had bought it using some money-off vouchers given me in the maternity ward when I was having Becky.

Becky had many dolls and cuddly toys and spent hours with selected "babies" tucked up in this pram, wheeling them around the garden at Montfort Close.

There was another little child of about her age living in the close, Heidi Turner by name, and she often came down to play with Becky.

On one occasion I saw the two of them, each with their doll's prams solemnly doing the garden circuit. I strolled up to say "hello" and peeked into the prams to see which dolls were being given an airing today. My relaxed demeanour changed rapidly when I saw that the "dolls" were actually our two tortoises, on their backs, most firmly and neatly tucked in with turned-down sheets and everything. Their little front legs were waving about helplessly and they looked most miserable.

I scooped out the unfortunate animals and popped them back into their enclosure. It was hard to be angry with the two little girls who were only about five years' old and who had clearly thought that Columbus and Bobbie would be all the better for their airing. I carefully explained the danger. Becky certainly understood but I'm not sure about Heidi because I later found her bouncing Columbus along the ground making the sort of revving noises that are usually reserved for playing with toy cars. I was less gentle with her that time. 

At least Max is more than capable of making his feelings clear when he gets tired of being wheeled about by his sister.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Toast

Today

There's no doubt about it, toast made from my home-made bread is very special.Very crispy and good with jam. The slices are rather too large for our toaster so I cook them under the grill. Ordinary sliced bread goes in the toaster, of course. The toaster at the flat is a Dualit and relies on you depressing and raising a lever to get at the bread, unlike the standard pop-up toaster, and tends to allow smoke to waft perilously close to the smoke detector.

In My Day

At 4BH we actually owned a toasting fork which wasn't purely ornamental. In winter time when the fire was lit we would often make toast and do crumpets at the fire using this implement. There was an art to getting it just right. If you put it over flames, the bread would simply go up in flames too. But you wanted to avoid smokey bits as the toast then merely tasted sooty. The way to do it was to find a nice patch of hot glowing coals and hold the bread over that. There was a moment to be caught between the bread being merely rather hot and turning into charcoal. I think we often had to chuck away toast or eat charcoal and soot smeared with butter, because we'd missed these crucial details. Your face got pretty hot and red in the process and you became in need of refreshing cups of tea pretty regularly!

We did use the eye-level grill of our gas cooker to make toast as well. This was for many years rather above eye-level for me which made making toast hazardous in a different way.

How exciting it was when Daddy bought our first pop-up toaster! It was a dining room, not kitchen item and toast would be made at the table as we needed it. I think that it had two wide slots, each of which took two slices of bread. Mamma had by this time discovered Wonderloaf so toasting became a standardised process. To get your toast cooked on both sides you had to remove it after it had popped up and reverse the pieces. Daddy was a fan of what he called "Dutch Toast" whereby you had one toasted and one untoasted side, putting the butter and marmalade on the soft side. I don't know where Daddy got the name from; maybe he made it up so that this half-and-half affair would acquire some status and desirability. Certainly when I googled it I found images of rounded items that resembled large Melba toasts with unappetising slices of Gouda cheese on them!

What is interesting is that toast, probably originally a way of using up stale bread, is now an essential part of breakfast and is best made with fresh bread.

Crossing Plant

Today

Many of the properties we view are enhanced, if that's the word, by being covered with vegetation. Nothing, it is true, gives a house such an air of venerability as being covered with ivy. But the house at Croscombe is all but smothered under a clematis "Montana Rubens" and a huge wisteria and the owner of one house in Chilcompton was despairingly resigned to the ingress of his clematis into the garage.

In My Day

Our house in Stoke St Michael was built in the late 1970s, so when we moved in in 1986, it still had rather a raw look, so to speak. I took the back garden in hand, sowing grass seed on the muddy patch and planting a range of shrubs. Now for the front! The previous owners had, somewhat recklessly, planted five conifers directly in front of the house which threatened the foundations and each other, but the house itself was still rather bare.

"The thing to give it instant gravitas", I said to Paul with confidence "is a Russian Vine - it's known as "mile-a-minute" because it grows so fast!" Paul, whose horticultural knowledge is about as extensive as mine is of Sanskrit, blithely took my word for it. He even attached the trellis to the house front for me.

The plant was bought, planted and prospered. How wonderful the house looked, covered in this gracious vine. In summer it was covered with racemes of tiny creamy flowers and I began to feel very proud of my sagacity. OK, it had twisted itself inextricably around the TV aerial cable, but that didn't seem to affect our TV watching.

The plant first became seen as a problem when it encroached into our bedroom via the ever-open window. Tendrils waved threateningly over the bed and I began to have "Little Shop of Horrors" types of dreams. Would it engulf us in the night and would our strangled corpses be discovered by people who had to hack their way through with machetes?

Next, it found its way into the loft forcing its way under the eaves. Lack of sunlight made these outriders turn white and spindly. Somehow that made it all seem even more threatening. Pruning the beast only seemed to encourage it.

Eventually, after a couple of years' growth had sent it over the roof, causing our little house to all but disappear I decided it had to go.

With energy I began to cut it away at the base. The stems aren't particularly tough and soon I had cut through them all. But it wouldn't come down, as it was still firmly attached to the TV cable.

So up I went into the spare room and leaned out of the window with my secateurs, hacking away at strand after strand. The vine swayed menacingly. Finally, I thought "Nothing for it! The cable with have to go, too." I cut through the cable and the vine's last hold on the house was gone. The entire plant crashed onto the front garden taking with it the trellis. "Geronimo!" I shouted. An answering cheer went up. It seemed that all the neighbours had gathered to watch this astounding event and that they were as glad as I was to see it go !

So, venerable or not, those clematis and wisteria had better watch out!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Wheelie Awful

Today

I heard a story today about a young man who thought that it was a great idea to practice doing handbrake turns and wheelies in the local Tesco carpark during business hours. The local police and magistrates let him feel the full weight of the law including imposing a driving ban and the destruction of his car.

"That's a bit draconian", commented Paul. "Well, he was warned three times and the carpark was in use. He might have injured a child..." I countered.

In my Day

I am ever grateful to Paul for teaching me how to drive. He allowed me to take the wheel on almost all our journeys and was methodical and calm.

There are some maneuvers which are best not practised too often on the public highway. Back in 1985 supermarkets closed on Sundays so Paul did, indeed, take me to the local Tesco carpark for some practice.

Not, I hasten to add, to do handbrake turns and wheelies, but to get on top of clutch control, reversing around corners, parking and steering. Paul would take a few two litre lemonade bottles with us. These he artistically placed in chicanes across the carpark and I had to drive between them and reverse around them without knocking any over.

I had to reverse around the kerbstones in the car park and do three-point turns between lemonade bottles. Week after week Paul would take me and I became better and better at these skills and still do a mean hill start.

We were often entirely alone in the carpark and no-one ever came to tell us off.

So what do learner drivers do today, now that shops are open seven days a week?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Period Feature

Today

In the process of house-hunting we are constantly finding ourselves seduced by yet another charming property. The bungalow with the 1 acre garden was a case in point. Immaculately, kept, probably unchanged since it was first built back in the '70s.

I look at the mirrored fitted wardrobes and the coloured suites and half-tiled splash backs in the bathrooms. "It's like stepping back in time", I whispered to Paul.

In My Day

How exciting it was to buy our very first home! The house in Rowan Avenue was a new build and we were told that we could choose our bathroom suite from a range. Goodbye, the chipped white enamel baths and austere tiles of our childhood. Goodbye horrible antiquated baths on little claw feet that collected the dirt underneath. We debated the merits of avocado, rose or aqua. Would maize yellow work? What cute little tiles with their matching swirly patterns on white! How sensible the matching plastic bath panel that would keep dirt at bay! In the end, there were only two suites left and our friends the Levetts who were buying next door bid hard for the aqua which left us with the rose pink.

Later, when we moved to Mead Close we became the proud owners of an avocado bathroom suite! This colour looks pretty great on an avocado but does little to enhance the look of any bathroom. However, we were pretty broke and even when we remodelled the bathroom for the first time had to keep it. I had great difficulty in finding a fitted porcelain sink in the colour, which had by now joined the ranks of the drearily outdated, and probably spent over the odds to get one.

As one might expect, the plain white Victorian bath (complete with claw feet) has made a comeback and today we all love our neutral coloured bathrooms.

I have a suspicion that, not long from now, the avocado bathroom suite will be described by estate agents as a "period feature".

Friday, September 23, 2011

Music to my Ears

Today
This morning Paul was reciting, pretty well verbatim, from an album that his Dad used to play, with a mixture of solemnity and excitement, back in 1957. This album was called "A Journey into Stereophonic Sound" in which a posh-voiced narrator described the various things captured by this new recording method - the ceremony of the keys at the Tower, an express train whooshing past, The Ride of the Valkyrie. "How awed we were in those days", said Paul wistfully "imagine today's kids being excited by something like this."
In My Day
We had a vast collection of records. The family myth goes that Mamma first saw Daddy when he was painting the hall ceiling at 4 BH whilst listening to Beethoven's 7th on 78s. He had to climb down every four minutes to change the record.
The existence of the Henry Wood Gramophone Circle ensured that we would amass an ever-growing collection of records. Our 78 record deck had two turntables and records were doubled sided, odds and evens. This meant that you could move smoothly from disc one to two, and be turning over disc one ready and so on. A forty minute symphony could run to ten or more discs and were housed in boxes that were pretty heavy.
The decision to move to 33 rpm was a major one - there was a considerable outlay and we needed a broad classical repertoire. In the end the bullet was bitten and we made the change. We had a collection of over a thousand records which were housed in a filing cabinet in the room where the meetings were held. There were many advantages over 78s, quite apart from the greater length of each side. They were less susceptible to breakages and, while you could no longer play them with just about anything, including a rusty nail, the styli were miracles of precision. I remember that we had a little paper disc marked out with three concentric rings of black lines, one for 78, one for 45, one for 33rpm. The idea was that if the turntable was turning at exactly 33rpm the relevant black lines would blur into grey. It was possible to play a record designed for 33rpm at 45 or even 78 with hilarious (or so we thought) results. I think Mamma & Daddy rather frowned on this.
The move to stereo was less dramatic; after all, the recordings were still on vinyl and revolved at 33rpm. The change was more in the equipment and the careful placing of speakers. But gradually new recordings were made and our collection was updated. I don't recall feeling as much excitement about this as Paul and his Dad did and in fact am not sure that my hearing is really sensitive enough for the nuances of hifi.
I can usually tell when a pre-stereo recording is played on the radio as it has a curious quality of sounding as though the musicians are in a small room with me which I find rather endearing.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Property Ladder

Today

The value of properties in our area seems to follow mysterious rules which we are finding hard to grasp. A near derelict bungalow a couple of miles away is priced at £70K more than an immaculate bungalow in another village, merely, it would seem because the second bungalow has less land and is on a busy road. It's also clear that some places are priced the way they are because the owner has to realise a certain amount to clear debts or be able to buy a new place, with scant attention to reality.

In My Day

The difference in property prices from one place to another was starkly obvious to us back in 1980. The house at Rowan Avenue was so tiny and all we could afford. We couldn't see any way of climbing the property ladder given the crazy house prices in the south-east.

The best place to live, from the point of view of cost, (according to the Sunday supplements)was in Humberside; Scunthorpe to be exact. Simple! We gathered details of properties in and around the area and set off to view, taking Lizzie with us.

Aside from the fact that we had to spend one night in the car when we discovered that some friends with whom we hoped to stay had moved, we had a very interesting time.

We looked at properties being redeveloped from derelict cottages in New Holland which were already showing damp, despite the newness of the conversion. We looked at several houses in Scunthorpe, from the impossible to the scrubbed up and new.

One house we liked very much was a Victorian house in the village of Winterton, about twenty miles from Scunthorpe. It was a very good size, rather shabby and well within our budget. Winterton has a rather old-fashioned high street with signs of elegance and departed grandeur. The house had a delightful walled garden and our fantasies began to run riot. We left, full of plans and hope.

It was early February and we ignored the dreariness of the landscape, flat and featureless. We ignored the grey, murky damp weather. We ignored the clear evidence that the whole area was on the downward slide. The new Humber bridge had taken away New Holland's only reason for existence and there was dereliction, enlivened with distant views of cooling towers, visible on every side. We didn't know a soul and would have had to create an entire new social structure for ourselves and the girls. And did we want them growing up with Hull accents?

The real reason for the cheapness of property was staring at us in our faces and eventually we had to look fully back at it. Jobs. Where there's no work the property ladder goes in one direction only - down. The ambulance service didn't operate a transfer system and when Paul popped into Scunthorpe Ambulance Station they told him that they were up to full strength. Any hope I had of a transfer would depend on Paul working there.

So it was back to Sunny Eastbourne (it really is sunny and the brightness of the skies told their own story) and the much slower ascent up the stairway.

At least we don't have to worry about mortgages or jobs now and can please ourselves. Although I have vetoed the bungalow with the gorgeous acre of garden on the premise that Paul is unlikely ever to mow the grass or wield a pair of secateurs.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Baby Bag

Today

Lizzie's friend Ruth was getting in a tizzy today. Her baby is due in three weeks and she was uncertain about the wisdom of a trek into Birmingham with no mobile phone. Suppose she went into labour in a public place? And she hadn't even packed her hospital bag.....

In My Day

Knowing when to expect the birth of your baby was an even less exact science back in the '70s than it is now. There were no scans and doctors relied on the date of your last period, your size and a bit of prodding around.

When I was carrying Lizzie, all these factors were in conflict. As I am one of those women whose cycle was very variable indeed, the expected birth date was at best a guess. I quickly became very large, but the usual signs (baby's first kick etc) were rather later than normal. Pauls' mum took to phoning every day or so to ask whether I'd felt any movement which wasn't very reassuring.

When the due date approached I, too packed a little bag. I trotted along to the hospital each week for a check-up. "If I call from the clinic," I told Paul "just pick it up and come in with it." Each week I'd unpack the daily essentials from the bag.

Lizzie's head engaged at the right time but after that.... nothing. I began to wonder whether my pregnancy would ever end. When I was three weeks overdue they ran a test to see whether the placenta was still up to the job. This unsophisticated test involved my carrying a sort of demijohn with me everywhere I went for a day and  putting every drop of wee I did into it! Not very dignified, especially as we'd agreed to meet my parents for a day out in Horsham.

Placenta just fine. "I think we'll wait for nature", said my genial obstetrician, after he'd taken an X-ray to make sure that there weren't two Lizzies.

So the bag remained in the corner of the room, looking more and more forlorn, for six weeks after Liz was due, while nature had a bit of a think about it. Which is when she eventually, with the help of a bit of a pull from the obstetrician, decided to make her appearance.

Maybe this experience explains why Lizzie is very, very rarely late these days.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Party On

Today

We had a delightful time on Sunday, off to Glyndebourne to see "the Turn of the Screw". A pity we had to miss the family & friends coming to the flat to celebrate Becky's birthday. Still, as Becky had bought the tickets as a Fortieth anniversary present, there was no contest really.

We chatted to some other opera-goers about this. "Ah", they said knowingly "She just wanted you out of the way while she parties." We laughed. "Certainly the value attached to getting parents out of the way goes up as the children get older", I joked. "But I'm not complaining!"

In My Day

As I was growing up I heard many horror stories of young peoples' parties getting out of hand (the stories got into the newspapers which shows what a new phenomenon they were back in the '60s) but never seemed to have any friends who'd actually trashed their parents' house.

Eventually, of course, we had to consider the issue of the girls having parties in their teens. Maybe it was because we lived so far in the country that roving young 'uns were unlikely to turn up or because the size of the family meant that most parties mainly consisted of cousins, but we rarely had problems. Lizzie never seemed to mind much if we were around anyway.

Becky, who loved her independence, preferred to strike a bargain. One Christmas (about 1993, I think) she asked if she could have a party while we were out at the annual Flare Xmas do. We had planned to stay overnight in Bath. "OK", we said "We're doing some Christmas shopping and expect to be back about four. So you've time to get it in order. Get this wrong and it's the last time." A little anxiously we set off for our own frolics (consisting, I seem to remember of a crazed murder mystery event). The following day, having done a fair bit of shopping we phonedBecky to warn her that we were on our way.

The house was gleaming - just one little wine stain which Becky was busily cleaning up. She'd certainly kept her side of the bargain and earned a few more points in her progress towards independence.

When, a few years later we trusted her alone in the house for ten days during Glastonbury Festival week, and found the house equally immaculate on our return, friends laughed at our gullibility. "What about all those wild parties she had while you away?" one scoffed. "Well", I said "if she did have parties, she can clearly handle it as everything was tickety-boo."

And even though chocolate from a chocolate fountain hit the ceiling during Cousmass 2005, causing Becky to have a complete sense of humour bypass, it was all cleaned up by the time we returned and we only knew about because the girls told us.

As we knew some people whose apparently docile daughter invited a trashing set of local youths to the house during parental absences, not once but twice (I think CDs melted into the carpet featured), we feel rather proud to have such a reliable daughter.

And I was sorry to miss seeing the little ones and Richard's family on Sunday.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Flying Solo

Today

Summer wouldn't be complete without my regular visit to Holland House at Cropthorne. This year the Laetare Singers gathered again, under the able baton of Ralph Woodward. One of the aspects I enjoy is the opportunity to sing a solo or two.

Now, I'm no professional and otherwise rarely have the chance. And it doesn't seem to matter that the "performance" is actually a little run through with an audience of about six camp-followers; I still feel as nervous as though I was about to perform in the Albert Hall.

This time I sang the solo in Ravel's ravishing "Trois Beaux Oiseaux" and hope I sounded OK

In My Day

Apart from the chances offered me by Gregory Atkin when  I was a teenager I never developed a solo singing career. In 1988 I joined Cantilena Choir and discovered two things. Firstly, a longish "dry"  period in which I'd done little or no singing, had left me struggling to reach top notes that had once been easy. Secondly, our Music Director occasionally asked me to do minor solos, something I found pretty scary.

To help rectify these things, I decided to have some singing lessons, something I'd never done before. After some trial and error I found the perfect teacher for me.  Viola Nagel, a charming Canadian singer, lived in Glastonbury and we already knew each other, having sung together a couple of times in a local occasional chamber group. She sympathetically helped to bring out my natural qualities and I discovered that those top c's were still there! With her help, I attained my Associated Board grade six & seven and performed at local festivals.

I didn't pursue any possibility of local solo opportunities; simply using what she's taught me to improve my day-to-day singing and any little solos I'm asked to do. Even now, if I have anything more than the shortest piece to sing I will often contact Viola for a lesson to help with the best delivery.

None of this, I'm afraid, takes away the anxiety before and during performance which  may explain why I've never aspired to become a second Emma Kirkby! And I hope I'll know when the advancing years finally wreak their havoc with my voice and have the grace to stop.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Home, Sweet Home

Today

House-hunting seems to be all the rage right now. Becky & Richard seem at last to have found a suitable flat to live in. Paul & I have decided that, much as we love the flat, we are tired of being so cramped at home. So the flat has to go to pay for a bigger house where the Bentley can come in out of the rain, Paul can house his model railway and I can have a permanent workshop. We've spent hours browsing property websites and fantasising about our next home.

In My Day

Paul's dad was of the opinion that having a mortgage was a "millstone around your neck" and actually turned down the offer of a private mortgage to buy at a ridiculously low price the 17th house he was already living in, thus depriving Mum of an asset that would be worth about £1.5 million today.

I, however resented every month's rent, knowing that that money would never come back to me, and when we had an opportunity, in 1975, to buy a house in Eastbourne, I jumped at the chance. Even though the monthly mortgage repayments were £106, compared to rent of £45 I knew it was the right thing to do.

This was a new build house on a brand-new estate. The Levetts had already bought one and we were able to secure the other side of the semi. We had to rely on the pictures in the brochures as the actual house was only foundations and a few half-finished walls. Eastbourne Borough Council, anxious to attract younger people to the town, were offering 95% mortgages, based on total joint income. As this was back in the days when lenders normally either discounted the wife's income or included only part (you were going to have lots of babies and give up work, you see!), this was an offer not to be refused.

Daddy coughed up the deposit of £400 which we paid back by standing order over the next five years and the house was ours!

It wasn't yet a home, being supplied with only the most basic of fitting, but during the next seven years we made it into one and a good place in which to start our family. And when we were ready to move to something better, the price we got for the house outstripped the remaining balance on the mortgage by such an extent that we already had a very good deposit.

For so much of our lives we have juggled within such a narrow margin that it will be fun to have so much more scope. But I think that I'm going to miss little no7 which has been a real home to us for twenty-five years.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Skinny Minnie

Today

I recently read a jubilant status update from my niece who at last, with the help of surgery, some determination and a following wind, has lost over ten stone to make her weight at last "normal".

There's no doubt that one of the ills of an affluent society is overweight. It's a rare person who is able to say "I never think about it". The obesity epidemic is visibly with us. Programmes such as "Supersize v. Superskinny enliven our evening's TV watching. Celebrities punish their bodies to stay superskinny.

We seem to have lost the knack of knowing how to regulate our eating to match our energy output and many of us are unable to judge whether we are too large or too small.

In My Day

In 1972 I worked for the Inland Revenue at Barrington House in Worthing. This was a large building housing a range of Revenue  departments. I don't know how I got chatting to a lady called Hazel. I used to see her on the station platform and wonder with slight envy at her extreme skinniness.

We used to meet up in the canteen for lunch and sometimes popped out to do shopping together. I quickly discovered the inner world of the anorexic. Hazel talked about nothing but food. Her first remark upon sitting down would be, "I can't think what to have for supper tonight." Her lunch would consist of a single sausage and a spoonful of peas. She would spend her lunch skinning both food items (and skinning a processed pea is highly skilled labour, believe me) and poking the remaining mess around her plate for half an hour. I generally feasted more rapidly on soup or fruit as I was trying to lose my post-pregnancy fat.

She described with joy her discovery that she could make an adequate supper out of a jar or two of Heinz baby food. She also described her life, her revulsion at having to engage in sex with her large and jovial (ex) husband and her fury when he had left her for another woman. She told me that she had decided to stop eating to punish him, but it seemed to me that she was punishing mainly herself and her nine-year old daughter.

This daughter was a strapping lass, clearly taking after Dad. Hazel shared a one-bedroomed flat with this child who presumably was given her share of baby food to eat. As Hazel's condition became worse, she told me how her daughter would get up in the night to make hot-water bottles to ease the persistent cramp. She used to say to her daughter "I wonder if I'll wake up in the morning?" I did protest at that; clearly mother-daughter roles were reversed and I felt for this game little girl. But I had no skills or experience that could be of any help to Hazel and, as my own daily life became more complicated, the relationship dwindled to nothing.

I wonder whether Hazel is still alive and whether she got the help she was crying out for. What I do know is that knowing those who carry ten or more stone too much or those whose body and soul are linked by a slender thread has helped me to put my two stone "excess" into perspective. Not that I'll give up the fight!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Wardrobe Mistress

Today

I spent a day in Bath yesterday. The new Southgate shopping centre is pretty awful; faked-looking, rather oppressive and with no street-life. And it's causing the regular shops in the main streets to close down.

I talked over this regrettable change to Bath with the friends with whom I lunched. "The other regrettable change", I said "is that there's a Radley shop bang in the centre of town. What's a girl to do?" I only have about ten Radley bags plus two hand-luggage sized suitcases, so there's plenty of scope.

In My Day

I don't know what drives some of us to be happy with one bag and two pairs of trousers while others feel that they always need to squeeze another item into their wardrobe.

Daddy could never see the need for more than one set of clothes (plus maybe some to do the gardening or decorating in). Mamma would arrange for him to be measured for a new suit but he would never wear it until the old one got to the point of making him look like a dangerous tramp. Shirts could be eked out by using detachable collars which were changed daily.

In many ways Daddy was a generous and open-handed father and husband. He proudly used to say that he didn't give Mamma "housekeeping" money, he gave her his purse. But when it came to buying new clothes, Mamma had to resort to stratagems and wiles, or just plain nagging.

Sometimes Mamma would plead on my behalf for new clothes; I found this embarrassing and a bit humiliating. I, too, used to have to make one outfit do for many occasions when other girls seemed to have so much choice. I learnt that they had clean socks and knickers daily (I was wise enough to say nowt when this subject came up) and a range of pretty clothes to choose from.

I suppose it was inevitable that the first thing I bought with my paper round money was a pair of shoes over which I'd been lusting for some time. By the time I was sixteen I'd learnt how to make skirts and dresses for myself and how to scour shops for remnants. It meant that I was mistress of my own wardrobe and have never since felt the need to beg permission or apologise for the acquisition of as many clothes, shoes and bags as I want.

So, if Daddy's intention was to teach me a stern lesson about the frivolity of such fripperies as Radley bags, I'm afraid it failed to hit home. Radley has a lovely new colour this season "Virtual Pink". Yum.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Sound of Music

Today

"I've got a crazy idea", said Beatrice to me this morning. Nothing new, then. She went on to expound it which is that the family gets together to put on a performance of Handel's Acis & Galatea. I don't think it had got much beyond the idea stage and I suggested that she flesh out a few details before making a proposition to the rest of the family.

In My Day

I think Beatrice's interest in this work comes from a deep sense of unfinished business. Back in 1985 she and I joined a singing group called The Eastbourne Opera and Oratorio Workshop. We met on Saturday mornings in a dingy church or church hall in Upperton Road in Eastbourne. There a small and motley group of singers gathered to work their way through a range of pieces. When we joined, the work in progress was Acis & Galatea.

The talents of the singers were very varied indeed; there being some who could barely read music and others who had musical but no other skills.

Our tenor had a voice of tremulous beauty; he was a middle-aged bachelor, with all the hall-marks of the type. Badly, not to say raggedly dressed in ancient and smelly clothes, with no communication skills and permanently bad hair and teeth, he was accompanied to rehearsals by a dragon-faced mother who sat at the back of the hall until we'd finished. The thought of his playing Acis to anyone's Galatea was pretty nauseating, but close your eyes and your heart melted with the sound of his voice.

As is common with almost all  singing groups, we had more women than men and they were pretty well all younger, better-looking and better at singing than almost all the men so our sound was rather lumpy at times. The soloists for this work were already chosen and the group slogged through the choruses, occasionally making real music. Our tutor clearly had a passion for the piece and managed to get a spark of drama out of us from time to time.

I never discovered whether there was any intention of actually giving a finished performance of the work; certainly concert dates weren't mentioned and there was no choreography of any kind suggested. I left Eastbourne before the charms of Acis & Galatea had been exhausted so can't tell how it all ended.

Beatrice, having persuaded me to Sing "As When the Dove" at her wedding, obviously wants more, much more! And who knows, she just might pull it off. 

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Risky

Today

This morning, on our walk up the lane, our discussion was triggered by the phone-hacking scandal, currently in progress. This led us to the legitimacy of investigative journalism. I mentioned the range of "facts" uncovered by such journalism in the Madelaine McCann disappearance.

I commented on the layout of the holiday resort where the McCanns were staying and the surprisingly large distance between the restaurant and the apartment where the girls were sleeping. "It's easy for us to judge," said Paul "but we took many risks when the girls were small and are only vindicated by the fact that they are still here and very much grown up."

In My Day

We chose the house in Rowan Avenue, back in 1975, partly because our best friends were buying the other side of the semi, so to speak. The house, while not jerry-built, had fairly thin walls and it was easy to hear noises from the other side of the wall.

In those days we were far too poor to afford baby-sitters on a regular basis but wanted to spend time with our friends. "Well", I reasoned "If we can hear noises, we can hear baby-noises. And next door is only thirty seconds away." So we often popped next door where rowdy games of Nap and endless cups of instant coffee made up the bulk of our entertainments.

We took it in turns to pop next door about every twenty minutes to half hour to check on the girls and make sure they were OK.

On one occasion, during the period that Beatrice was living with us, it was Beatrice's turn to "pop" next door. Off she went. Ten minutes, twenty minutes went by; no Beatrice. Just as I began to wonder what might be the matter, she returned, looking frazzled. She explained why this was so.

"I checked Lizzie and she was fast asleep and fine", she said. "Then I went into Becky's room. The bedding was on the floor but no sign of Becky." In a panic Beatrice had gone from room to room. No Becky. Windows and doors were secured and there was no sign of any problems. Becky was a well-known escapologist and Beatrice started to fear the worst. How could she come back and face me with the news that Becky had disappeared and might have been abducted or might be wandering off in the dark towards the main road?

Slowly she went back to the room and absently gathered up the tumbled bed clothes. And there was Becky, still fast asleep, half under the bed. She had clearly fallen out of bed, still sleeping, taking the bedclothes with her.

Laughing and crying, Beatrice told us what had happened. We laughed too and didn't really face up to the implications of our actions.

Little Maddie, whatever happened to you, never mind if anyone was a little careless, I can't imagine what you must have or may be suffering and I wish you well.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Idyllic

Today

I've always thought that the tale behind how Wagner's Siegfried Idyll was written is very romantic. Last night we listened to this rapturous little piece, courtesy of Lizzie, who'd given Paul a CD of Wagner orchestral items for his birthday.

"Doesn't this just release a flood of memories?" asked Paul. Indeed.

In My Day

When we were first married and living in the flat at Belmont in Brighton we somehow cobbled together a usable Hi-fi from various bits and pieces - an amplifier from me, a deck from who knows where and some speakers housed in old fashioned cabinets.

And didn't we love our music! We played whatever we could, on sometimes old and scratchy vinyl discs.

When Lizzie was a baby, she went through a phase, very common among newborns, of being rather fretful during early evening. Maybe it was a just a result of the change from her day at the childminder's to home and my tiredness and inability to cope that triggered this off. We quickly discovered that music soothed her troubled, if not exactly savage, breast, especially the Siegfried Idyll. It was no hardship to play this again and again as her crying tailed off and she settled into peaceful slumber.

It enabled us to get on with whatever chores were needed. I remember when we decorated the living room; we bought a creamy coloured paint named "County Cream" and its smell filled the room as strongly as did the sounds of Wagner, so that the two became somehow linked.

In some ways those days seem like another world, when we worried and scrabbled around to cope from day to day, with barely any idea of what we were doing. In others ways it's just the beginning of the thread that brings us to today.

And surely our story is every bit as romantic as Richard and Cosima Wagner's.