Bone-Cruncher

Today

This morning Becky mentioned that she was taking Carmen to an osteopath. I asked her if this was cranial osteopathy, but she said no.

"In my experience", I said "osteopaths are charlatans".

In My Day

So where did this sweeping opinion come from? When I worked for the Inland Revenue, much of my day was spent sitting at a desk and I found that my neck and upper back could become very stiff and sore. Somebody told me that the Civil Service encouraged staff to use osteopaths by having some on an approved list who carried out the treatment at reduced rates for civil servants

I found one in Eastbourne and trotted along. The therapist was a dour middle-aged man who said hardly anything during the sessions, didn't describe what he was doing and gave me no advice as to follow-up, posture, exercise and so on.

My sessions were twice-weekly and consisted of what appeared as brutal attacks on my skeleton. One of the few things he said, after an especially bone-crunching moment was that he had re-aligned some vertebrae.

I left his sessions in considerable pain which would take a couple of days to clear up. Eventually, when the pain hadn't ceased by the time I went to the next session, I stopped going. This was worse than the stiffness!

A couple of weeks later I did what I should have done in the first place: I went to see my doctor. I confessed to what I'd been doing and he wasn't particularly complimentary. He told me to strip my top half and he examined my back. "Well", he said "I can see that there are a couple of  misaligned vertebrae....." He gave me some advice about posture and the best sleeping positions and packed me off to a physiotherapist who was very helpful indeed.

I found some facts about osteopaths which suggest that what they offer is rooted in philosophy, not science.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteopathy

But many people swear by their osteopaths, claiming that it's only through their help that they can stand upright, and whom am I to say they're wrong?

Waddle

Today

Following the birth of Carmen, Becky has been watching her own weight decrease. Many of her clothes are now much too large and we were talking about the need for some interim clothing.

"I remember the excitement of buying normal-sized clothes when you were about 6 months old" I said.

In My Day

When I had Becky, back in 1977, I was working at the Inland Revenue. The Civil Service maternity arrangements were far ahead of their time and the deal was that I could have three months fully paid maternity leave, but they withheld the third months' pay until I had been back full time for at least three months.

The effect of this was that I received a whole extra month's pay just when Becky and I needed a new set of clothes - hers larger, mine a lot smaller.

I popped to the shops, very happy with my new size 14 figure, and bought skinny tops, dresses and fabric to make hip-hugging skirts. I was so glad to ditch those maternity and baggy clothes and waltzed into work in tight jeans and t-shirts. My anorexic friend Hazel rather tactlessly said to people (in my hearing) "you remember my fat friend Julia? Well, this is my slim friend Julia!" I guess she meant well.

Shortly afterwards, Paul and I were invited to a party. I enjoyed dancing and a good deal of male attention. This was a massive boost to my sense of personal attractiveness and I remember lapping it up!

Birth and early motherhood are very physical experiences with the emphasis on bodily functions. Getting ones figure back, however partially, is a wonderful way of reclaiming ones balance. It also makes you feel less, well, waddly which has to be a good thing.