Green eyed monster

Today

I'm very happy that Abby is OK and arrives daily, cannon-ball style, for her supper. What I don't really understand is why she's still so jealous of the kitties. They pay her little attention but she seems entirely unable to assert her place in the household, which has never been withheld from her. Actually, I think all her hissing and growling is a sign of her weakness as she has never actually tried facing the kitties down.

In My Day

When I told people that I was expecting another baby, nearly five years after the first, I was given many dire warnings about the awful consequences of such a large gap and the terrible jealousy that my first born would experience and express and with which I'd have to cope. Parenting magazines were full of articles on how to manage this destructive threat to our family peace and there were many armchair child psychologists lined up with horror stories designed to unnerve me further.

In my unsubtle way, I simply spoke to four-year old Lizzie about the problem. "Are you worried about the new baby?" I asked. Liz admitted to a little uncertainty, so I quickly invented something which actually turns out to be true. "No need to worry", I said "Each baby is born with its own love wrapped up with it." Quite so.

Liz seemed delighted with her new sister and, what's more, her sister seemed delighted with her. When Becky was one, a couple of people, assuming jealousy, gave Lizzie a present too. She was genuinely puzzled; it wasn't her day and, anyway, she'd had lots of fun with me, preparing for the party.

In a recent Facebook entry Beatrice asked whether resentment grows or diminishes with time. The answer, of course, depends on whether you starve or feed the beast. And the same goes for jealousy. Just trust me, Abby, I will never alter my love for you.