Cententarian

Today

Last Sunday my siblings and I celebrated the date of my mother's 100th birthday. We flossied ourselves up and went along to the Homewood Park Hotel & Restaurant and spent a happy few hours with champagne, food. reminiscences and friendly chat. I wore Mamma's favourite silver violet necklace, David brought a tablecloth that Mamma had embroidered and persuaded the waiting staff to put it on the table, and Beatrice read from Mamma's diary.

It didn't resemble much the birthday parties Mamma used to give but we felt it was important to mark the occasion.

In My Day

Mamma, as has been said elsewhere, loved to party. This is a description of her last birthday party in 1981. By this time Mamma was very ill with lung cancer and had been receiving chemotherapy at the hospital in Dorking. As her birthday approached I called the hospital and asked if we could take Mamma out for a day in order to celebrate.. The hospital ummed and ahhed and said they'd have to ask higher authorities. 

I conferred with my siblings. "Don't tell Mamma what we're planning just yet", I said "It'll be so much better when the whole arrangements are made." So I didn't write to Mamma as I usually would, waiting to tell her the good news and I believe that my siblings kept quiet too.

One morning a letter from Mamma dropped on my doormat. "I always said that I didn't want to be a burden on my children," she wrote "but I never thought that I'd be eating my words." Mamma, not having heard from us, thought she had been abandoned to die alone. I called the hospital. "Look, " I said forcefully "you're not going to be able to cure her. Anyway the best medicine right now would be to see her family." They agreed that we could borrow a wheelchair for the afternoon and all was set. I wrote to Mamma, explaining my silence and told her the plan.

On her 68th birthday we gathered at the house in Dorking. All the siblings with their children were there. I found a half cake in the freezer and dolled it up with frills and candles. Chris and Paul went to collect Mamma and she sat facing the window overlooking the garden and pond at Ribblesdale and opened her cards and presents. I can't remember a great deal more about the event, although I do remember Mamma commenting on demure and patient 4-year old Becky waiting to see the gifts opened.

Mamma died a couple of weeks later and was certainly not abandoned to die alone, I am very glad that we were able to show her our love and care in that way, and I'm also glad that we felt that her part in our lives was important enough for last Sunday's celebration.

What I do hope is that I will be able to go in person to my own 100th birthday.