Cloistered

Today

A couple of days ago, driving past Downside Abbey, I found myself thinking about monasteries, the kind of life monks lead and what induces someone to become a monk.

In My Day

To my knowledge I only ever knew one person who'd been a monk. His name was Tony White and we both worked for the Inland Revenue while I was at Lewes in 1977. He was a stocky man of about fifty, with a grey beard and uncompromising expression. It was he who dubbed the unborn Becky the "Sprog" after his naval days. As we got to know each other he told me firstly about his seafarings days and then about his life as a monk. I think he'd been at Buckfast, although I have to say that my memory is hazy on this. He was no singer of plainsong or meekly devout man and, by the time I knew him, seemed to have forgotten what took him into the cloistered life.

By nature a man of action, he eventually decided that he could live a devoutly Catholic life without shutting himself away, so he left. He married late in life and had one son, Jonathan, who gave him great delight and who seemed to be lots of fun. 

The question of having a second child arose. He confided in me. "My wife is already in her late forties", he said "and the chances are that not only would a second pregnancy be difficult for her but she would also have a  very high chance of having a Down's Syndrome baby." His solution was for them to adopt a Down's Syndrome baby instead, thus removing the physical risk to his wife, while augmenting his family and doing good for an unwanted child.

The child was a girl and he described how happy Jonathan was, how his wife was taking pains to give the girl as much mental stimulus as possible and how they hoped  at least to be able to give her a good and happy childhood, even if she needed to be transferred into care after her teens. (Knowing Tony, I doubt whether he would have had the heart ever to do this last thing.)

Tony proved to me that there are many ways of devoting yourself to the ideals of your religion other than shutting yourself away from human joy, need and interaction. 

I wonder if he is still alive, but I hope that both his children are and living the life that his generous and large spirit made possible.