Christmas Duty

Today

We're feeling very excited about our Christmas visit to Becky and Richard's. It'll be great fun to see how they manage things ("Give me champagne and I'll do what I'm told", I said).

Once we'd finished discussing the finer points of the nut loaf - which boil down to the fact that I'm making it - I told Becky not to feel in future years that she and Richard should dash about just to make sure that we're somehow fitted in over Christmas. I hear of people who never seem to stop travelling - Christmas day in one house, Boxing day somewhere else at the far end of the country - which makes it all sound like a chore to me and takes the fun and joy out of things.

In My Day

Once we all had our own domestic set-up Mamma took the same attitude. She'd ask us our plans for Christmas and was very happy that we all had satisfactory arrangements. I think we only once spent Christmas at Dorking and that involved an air bed on the living room floor. I do remember that Mamma was touched that I'd prepared stockings for all.

Chris generally shared his Christmas with David and often gave a big family party at his Hampstead house a  few days later. These events were hugely entertaining and noisy and almost certainly were a factor in cementing the closeness between the cousins.

What is odd, I now think about it, is that I don't ever remember any suggestion that Mamma and Daddy be of the party. We could easily have picked them up en route. Maybe Chris suggested it and was turned down; I don't know. Perhaps Mamma felt that a whole day in another house would have been too much for Daddy. What it meant was that, once her children were independent,  Mamma, who loved parties, missed out on the biggest one of the year .

My attitude is designed to help my children feel that they never owe me an onerous duty at Christmas, not to miss out on any parties that are on offer.