It's not Cricket

Today

My brother David maintains a Facebook photo album "Strange & Beautiful Creatures" in which he puts pictures that range from the amazing to the repulsive.

This morning he showed a bright green cricket perching on his finger. Very lovely.

In My Day

In 1994 or thereabouts we spent a holiday in Guernsey. One beautiful sunny day we took the ferry to the island of Herm and had a lovely time walking about gazing at the impossibly blue seas and sky. Eventually lunch beckoned and we joined other day trippers at the island's only pub for an al fresco lunch.

We noticed an enormous vivid green cricket perched on our sunshade and we and a number of other diners admired it. Disturbed by the bustle the creature hopped away and for a few minutes we lost sight of it. Then, to our horror and amusement, we saw that it had settled on the very large bottom of a female fellow-day tripper. She was completely unaware as we gazed in fascination, wondering whether she would squash the creature as she settled back or whether it would continue its progress up her body.

In the end Paul couldn't bear it any longer and said to me "I've got to rescue it!" "Fine," said I "but the remark "Did you know there's a cricket on your bum?" followed by placing your hands on said bum could sound like a very bad chat-up line and she seems to have a very large male companion in tow!"

This didn't deter Paul who somehow managed the introduction without either receiving a black eye or causing the woman to move suddenly and destroy the cricket. Gently he cupped his hands around the gloriously green creature and let it hop onto the nearby foliage.

One of David's Facebook friends expressed horror that David could bear to allow the cricket to perch on his hand and I must say that I've always been an admirer of Paul's ability to pick up creepy-crawlies of all kinds, usually with the aim of saving their lives. It's not something I'm very good at.