Highest Bidder

Today

Rather jolly lunch with my relations from the Midlands today. We went to one of those pubs that relies on a massively fast throughput on Sunday but after 45 minutes they found us a table.

Maybe it was the wait that brought on the hysteria or that preponderance of fried "combo" dishes and chips. When my tea arrived with a little gold-wrapped chocolate mint I decided to put the mint up for auction. Bids came thick and fast; after I'd rejected my niece's husband's car keys on the grounds that it wasn't that kind of party, the clear winner was Jo with a bid of £3.75. her uncle tried to slip under the wire with £4.00, but Jo got the choccy.

In My Day

When I was small, there were no TV programmes showing you how to flog your heirlooms and the idea of an auction was rather foreign to me. Mamma and Daddy certainly didn't haunt auction rooms and generally didn't take chances. There was one notable annual exception to this.

Every year we used to go to the local Vicar's garden party. Given our urban location it was rather strange to find oneself in an idyllic well-groomed garden that wouldn't have been out of place in Midsomer Worthy. There were the usual stalls and stands. The most exciting event was the "Dutch Auction" There would be a series of (probably donated) gifts. A large sheet was held out and people chucked money in. At a given signal the chucking would stop and the last person to have chucked would get the prize, even if they'd only put in half a crown.

In this way Mamma once bagged a beautiful porcelain Chinese tea set in gold and translucent white for about a shilling. Each paper-fine cup had the face of a chinese girl in relief in the base. Mamma loved it and used it for ages. I believe David still has it.

Chris once bid £5.00 at Christies for three bottles of genuine Napolean brandy. He got the brandy and I helped him discover how good it was one Christmas back in Cricklewood.

Jo, having won the bid, gave her Uncle the chocolate anyway and got to keep the money.