Svengali

Today

Very nice evening playing Scrabble with my BB. Evenly matched tonight, too.

Paul had put on some rather avant garde jazz, but it became so distracting that he changed it for a CD of Burt Bacharach hits. Some lovely songs and some truly dreadful. As we finished the games - "Don't Make me Over" sung by Dionne Warwick came on.

"Such an interesting topic", says I "And so true of many relationships. Of course, Daddy showed me why this is so wrong and fails anyway."

In My Day

When the big Victorian pile, next to and identical to ours came up for sale at a knock-down price with 10 years on the lease and sitting tenants, Daddy jumped at the chance to make a few bucks and bought it. I'm not sure that he made any money - the property required a deal of maintenance and he was inclined to be too generous to tenants, reducing their rent when they had babies etc.

I think I was about 12 and walking back home from the local shop when a pleasant man fell into step beside me. He chatted in a friendly way until we reached no 6 when he peeled off and went inside.

I had no idea who he was and spoke to Daddy about him. "Oh", said Daddy "That's Mr Glennie". I knew Mrs Glennie as a permanently pregnant tenant but didn't know anything about the husband. Daddy explained that Mr Glennie was a small-time thief, in and out of prison for petty theft, otherwise quite harmless. Each time he came out, Mrs Glennie conceived again. I'm sure Daddy never made any money out of her - he was far too sorry for her.

But he explained her mistake. "She believed that her love for him would change him. Which it didn't, of course," He explained to me. "we are who we are and only we can change ourselves, we must accept the people we take into our lives as they are." He really saw Mrs Glennie's tragedy and heartbreak and was always there to lend a hand.

So I think at best "making someone over" gives you a result that you didn't expect and at worst leaves you disappointed and lonely. Svengalis who succeed, whether fictionally, as in "Trilby" or in reality as with Lolo Ferrari, ultimately come to loathe their creations and may even destroy them.

And loving people for their own special qualities is so much more fun.